rock steady

hmmm, i don't know if it's me or it's her or it's the both of us. but since sunday, i've been finding less things to talk about to her. maybe it's just me. me, thinking that i shouldn't share trivial stuff with her and decide to keep my mouth shut. me, thinking that i should only share the big stuff, important stuff with her and basically keep the rest to myself. i don't know, maybe that's how i think. do have lots to talk when i say everything with her. i'm opening myself up to her, and being super unprententious. i feel so comfortable with her, not having to put up a false front to impress her but just being myself, peter. but the thing is that even when i have nothing much to say to her, i just feel so happy and contented being with her. i just enjoy sitting beside her, even if it's silence. it's gd to know that someone loves you and you love her back. and i can just sit there and enjoy sitting with her. i can't describe the feeling but it's a gd one that's for sure. with developments in the romantic area of my life, it has become a mission to focus, focus on things in church, in cell grp, as the romance threatens to take away my focus. i do need to focus and maintain this relationship. there are other ppl beside me in this world. and this world is a big place. missions, missions. carter asked if i want to go with him next yr or so. i don't really know at this moment. army isn't or may not be over. so it's hanging in the air. but i do want to move with the church and go for missions. it'll really be something that is so different.