Thursday, December 18, 2003
wandering
havnet really came up here to write.. so thot i'll just write a bit this time..
it's been one heck of a ride so far. misunderstandings and stuff that comes around at this time of the month. december has really been a month where i've been put on the fire, and things start to unravel (to my horror!) and everything abt my character just starts to show.. the good, the bad and the ugly. everything. it's just plain true that where yur heart is, yur treasure will be. cos u'll be sowing seeds in that grd. waiting for the treasure to come abt. at times i wish that i'll just have one place to really put my heart in. it's just so scattered right now. wish a lot of things wouldnt be wat it is now, but it's just too late. i still believe in God's timing, that it is absolutely perfect. despite how i might feel abt it that is. i've seen it happen once in my life and believe it's gonna happen again. i'm not as strong as i think i am. i'm weaker than most ppl, just that most ppl don't know cos they ain't really in my life to see what's really going on. things of the heart start to bogged me down again. i hate it. esp when emotions go a-soaring and heart goes a-pounding. it's been peaceful for the last 3 mths or so, but this mth.. i guess it's compensating for the peace and quiet. make that OVERCOMPENSATING. emotions are a gd servant but a bad master. and it's not JY. she has got to know someone who's really a gd guy. and i dont like her in that manner.. took some stick the past 2 wks regarding her. grrrr... y can't i don't take stick over anyone..it'll be gd. and if i have to take stick, can they pair me up with someone else instead..? christmas is drawin near.. it's been 2 yrs. ya 2 yrs since i really liked someone. oh well. gtg.
it's been one heck of a ride so far. misunderstandings and stuff that comes around at this time of the month. december has really been a month where i've been put on the fire, and things start to unravel (to my horror!) and everything abt my character just starts to show.. the good, the bad and the ugly. everything. it's just plain true that where yur heart is, yur treasure will be. cos u'll be sowing seeds in that grd. waiting for the treasure to come abt. at times i wish that i'll just have one place to really put my heart in. it's just so scattered right now. wish a lot of things wouldnt be wat it is now, but it's just too late. i still believe in God's timing, that it is absolutely perfect. despite how i might feel abt it that is. i've seen it happen once in my life and believe it's gonna happen again. i'm not as strong as i think i am. i'm weaker than most ppl, just that most ppl don't know cos they ain't really in my life to see what's really going on. things of the heart start to bogged me down again. i hate it. esp when emotions go a-soaring and heart goes a-pounding. it's been peaceful for the last 3 mths or so, but this mth.. i guess it's compensating for the peace and quiet. make that OVERCOMPENSATING. emotions are a gd servant but a bad master. and it's not JY. she has got to know someone who's really a gd guy. and i dont like her in that manner.. took some stick the past 2 wks regarding her. grrrr... y can't i don't take stick over anyone..it'll be gd. and if i have to take stick, can they pair me up with someone else instead..? christmas is drawin near.. it's been 2 yrs. ya 2 yrs since i really liked someone. oh well. gtg.
