Saturday, February 16, 2008
Approaching Twenty-Six
The difference between twenty-five and twenty-six, as I pen down my thoughts in writing, is officially a measly three days. Usually birthdays are joyous occassions, and as an unofficial birthday co-ordinator, my responsibility to ensure or at least try to ensure that the abovementioned affair ends on a good note.
Plans have actually been made for this year, but to my alas, not with the people that I hold dear to my heart. Not that I disregard the people that I'm going to spend the nite of 18 Feb with, but if given a choice, I wish it was a different crowd. The people that I feel closer to, are further away from me on this day which holds such meaning to me, such is the irony of the situation. I've half a mind to just absent myself from the celebrations, and be, as I've for a good quarter of a century, alone and on the bike, spinning down East Coast Parkway.
So I didn't meet the target to settle down with a job in the first month of the year. However, the impending arrival of twenty-six, coupled with the incessant nagging of both parents, peers and concerned individuals, rang the alarm bells inside of me. Thus, time to ring the changes.
Though the salary is pretty measly, held against the current optimistic outlook of the job market, and the commission nothing to rave about, I'm still excited simply because I will be holding decent employment after a year on hiatus.
Even as part of me starts to weight the five-cent ten-cent monetary issues of the job, part of me continues to soothe itself, constantly advocating that one should not despise small beginnings. It has been a humbling experience in the past two years, though I wonder if I've really matured in my perception and most importantly in character. Nevertheless, I look forward to working again, even as it brings forth its own share of problems and challenges.
If I was to use yesterday's dinner as a yardstick, it will be wise not to expect the cell group to really do anything for my birthday. Although I'm helping out in my limited capacity, I do not dare, though I do wish at times, that my birthday will be celebrated like Su Ann or Jean's, that I'll receive a nice gift that took effort and that's realy nice, or a dinner at a nice place that's slightly better than the usual fare we have.
In both occassions, I felt Rebekah and myself carried the ball for the both of them. I appreciate Rebekah's effort towards her friends. Yet, for myself, till now, I don't really feel that anyone is going to carry the ball. Perhaps I'm being pessimistic about the situation at hand. Yet, the realist in me could see that my birthday with the cell grp would be spent at some backwater coffeeshop or foodcourt that will be great on any day. But on this occassion, a place that I would absolutely abhor and detest to the depth of my heart.
I guess it shows the level of relationship that I've with the people that make up this cell group. It can be better, could be better, and must be made better. Most people will just want to roll over and die, but if I was to die, I wouldn't die with a whimper. Heh.
Back to yesterday's dinner, it occurred to me that the guys need a lesson in Romanctism 101. It's pretty fine to me that they didn't really think of getting flowers for the gals. However, just mildly pained, that they stood ram-rod stiff and didn't give half a thought about presenting the gals the flowers. To be prompted by someone what to do destroys the atmosphere and just rendered it mechanical and out of duty, eliminating the essence and beauty of Valentine's day.
I refuse to sit on the fence, eat my pie and criticse my fellow male brethern. I really wonder, with all my mind and heart, how the guys could become less apathetic. I'm still a work-in-progress, open to having that weak character of mine moulded, soldered, strengthened and developed. I wonder where did I learn to give flowers to all the gals, even those that I don't have eyes for (which is like all less one).
As I walked home yesterday, I pondered how to put across it to the guys, in a nice uplifting manner yet telling them that they got a lot of development to do, especially in the romance department.
Just like the comics that I've been reading avidly,
I want to be one of the good guys, cos there's just too many of the bad around.
Plans have actually been made for this year, but to my alas, not with the people that I hold dear to my heart. Not that I disregard the people that I'm going to spend the nite of 18 Feb with, but if given a choice, I wish it was a different crowd. The people that I feel closer to, are further away from me on this day which holds such meaning to me, such is the irony of the situation. I've half a mind to just absent myself from the celebrations, and be, as I've for a good quarter of a century, alone and on the bike, spinning down East Coast Parkway.
So I didn't meet the target to settle down with a job in the first month of the year. However, the impending arrival of twenty-six, coupled with the incessant nagging of both parents, peers and concerned individuals, rang the alarm bells inside of me. Thus, time to ring the changes.
Though the salary is pretty measly, held against the current optimistic outlook of the job market, and the commission nothing to rave about, I'm still excited simply because I will be holding decent employment after a year on hiatus.
Even as part of me starts to weight the five-cent ten-cent monetary issues of the job, part of me continues to soothe itself, constantly advocating that one should not despise small beginnings. It has been a humbling experience in the past two years, though I wonder if I've really matured in my perception and most importantly in character. Nevertheless, I look forward to working again, even as it brings forth its own share of problems and challenges.
If I was to use yesterday's dinner as a yardstick, it will be wise not to expect the cell group to really do anything for my birthday. Although I'm helping out in my limited capacity, I do not dare, though I do wish at times, that my birthday will be celebrated like Su Ann or Jean's, that I'll receive a nice gift that took effort and that's realy nice, or a dinner at a nice place that's slightly better than the usual fare we have.
In both occassions, I felt Rebekah and myself carried the ball for the both of them. I appreciate Rebekah's effort towards her friends. Yet, for myself, till now, I don't really feel that anyone is going to carry the ball. Perhaps I'm being pessimistic about the situation at hand. Yet, the realist in me could see that my birthday with the cell grp would be spent at some backwater coffeeshop or foodcourt that will be great on any day. But on this occassion, a place that I would absolutely abhor and detest to the depth of my heart.
I guess it shows the level of relationship that I've with the people that make up this cell group. It can be better, could be better, and must be made better. Most people will just want to roll over and die, but if I was to die, I wouldn't die with a whimper. Heh.
Back to yesterday's dinner, it occurred to me that the guys need a lesson in Romanctism 101. It's pretty fine to me that they didn't really think of getting flowers for the gals. However, just mildly pained, that they stood ram-rod stiff and didn't give half a thought about presenting the gals the flowers. To be prompted by someone what to do destroys the atmosphere and just rendered it mechanical and out of duty, eliminating the essence and beauty of Valentine's day.
I refuse to sit on the fence, eat my pie and criticse my fellow male brethern. I really wonder, with all my mind and heart, how the guys could become less apathetic. I'm still a work-in-progress, open to having that weak character of mine moulded, soldered, strengthened and developed. I wonder where did I learn to give flowers to all the gals, even those that I don't have eyes for (which is like all less one).
As I walked home yesterday, I pondered how to put across it to the guys, in a nice uplifting manner yet telling them that they got a lot of development to do, especially in the romance department.
Just like the comics that I've been reading avidly,
I want to be one of the good guys, cos there's just too many of the bad around.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
6 verses in 6 pictures
Not that i've made a change to be unambiguous right now,
but just want to record this for posterity's sake.
I can't seem to remember what I write these days.
So this is 6 verses in 6 pics, its supposed to be a quasi-poem.
Once upon a time,
there lived a beautiful princess
she dwelt in the far east
and her name was XX.
she sings like the nightingale
sweet and pleasing to the ear
that all will crowd around her
to hear that voice of hers
yes, she's drop dead pretty
but she can also be cheeky
one glance at this photo and
you'll definitely get the picture
the lights have gone off
she'll light up this place
and all that surrounds it
with that smile of hers
why are you looking up
we're all looking at the rose
the one that's holding it
who takes our every breath away
i can't sing, nor can i dance
writing's the only way i know
happy valentine's day XX,
may that smile never leave your beautiful face.
but just want to record this for posterity's sake.
I can't seem to remember what I write these days.
So this is 6 verses in 6 pics, its supposed to be a quasi-poem.
Once upon a time,
there lived a beautiful princess
she dwelt in the far east
and her name was XX.
she sings like the nightingale
sweet and pleasing to the ear
that all will crowd around her
to hear that voice of hers
yes, she's drop dead pretty
but she can also be cheeky
one glance at this photo and
you'll definitely get the picture
the lights have gone off
she'll light up this place
and all that surrounds it
with that smile of hers
why are you looking up
we're all looking at the rose
the one that's holding it
who takes our every breath away
i can't sing, nor can i dance
writing's the only way i know
happy valentine's day XX,
may that smile never leave your beautiful face.
