rock steady

i kissed her. i can't believe i did it. got caught up in the excitment of the moment. and i sinned. i fell. right at that pt, i didn't honor God and i most certainly didn't honor her as well at that pt. of time. all i cared was about myself and my own desires. from that day till now, i still have a tinge of regret with me. at that pt. of time, i didn't even feel much joy, it was like going through motions... i can't believe that by my own impatience, i ruined all the plans that i had in mind. Where to go, what to do, what to give to her.. all runined. The only gd thing that came out of it was that we decided to slow down our pace in this relationship. It was just moving too fast and moving out of hand with each passing day. And it had to take this kiss to jolt both of us into reality again. We're still going to work it out. This is the first kiss that I ever had and I never regretted giving it to her. She's someone that I really want to be with and someone that I can see myself with for the next few yrs down the rd.

i did it. i stopped myself. i fought my desires and i won. i can't believe it that i walked away, literally staring the gift horse in the mouth. i stopped myself from kissing her. it's not the time. i want to save up this kiss for the moment. the first time that i'll kiss a girl for the 22 yrs of my life. yup, that's long isn't it? i don't want to steal the fun, the excitement, the joy from that day. i can wait. i know i can. cos it'll just make everything better. the kiss signifies the next stage, a greater commmittment. and what better way than to seal it with a kiss? i'm already bristling with excitement. what more abt then? i want to honor God in this, not just in words, but in my actions too. it's been a struggle, always fighting my emotions and my flesh, but it's one fight i'm determined not to lose. Father, hope You'll be proud of me as u look down on me just now...